Doth mine ears decieve me?
by KawaiiChica
Summary: I bet you couldn't go a whole night without bringing up anything lecherous. - Miroku's put to the test, see how he fares against a not-so-innocent little Kagome!


Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi k-? I'm just borrowing them for the story.  
  
Author's Notes: I know, I need to update my other stories instead of writing more one- shots, but I'm stuck with some really bad I/K writer's block. Don't worry, I hope to have some stuff up soon.  
  
**Just so you know:** This story is set sometime before they meet Sango (don't ask when, she just wasn't with them yet ok?) So its only Inuyasha, Miroku, Kaogme and Shippo traveling together thus far.  
  
**WARNING:** Although this is only a comdey fic and I'm not given to writing with such colorful language, the rating is 'R' for a reason - This fic contains some pretty bad adult vocab so kiddies, just don't read it if you're not supposed to k-?  
  
I don't want to be blamed for traumatizing a kid........... again.  
  
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" " Speaking

[ ] Miroku's Thoughts

_:: :: Kagome's thoughts_  
  
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**"HENTAI!"**  
  
Kagome's indignant scream echoed through the forest.  
  
Having dropped one of her m&m's, she'd forgotten about her traveling companion's bad habits and bent over to pick it up, giving him the perfect opportunity to get a good grope to her bottom. Jumping away with a screech, she spilled the rest of her candy and turned to knock him a good one but he'd moved away, making her scream instead.  
  
"You are so perverted Miroku!" stomping her foot she glared at the grinning houshi and heard a 'crunch' beneath her foot. "And you made me drop my candies! I finally manage to save one bag from Shippo's wrath and you made me spill them!"  
  
Dropping to pick them up off the ground and throw them into her trash bag, she saw his robes come near and gave him a scathing look. "Don't even think about it."  
  
"I'm truly sorry Kagome-sama, you have every right to be angry with me," with his serious countenance once again in place he seemed truly apologetic, making her anger grudgingly melt away.  
  
After she'd cleaned up the mess they continued on their trip, eager to get back to Kaede's hut before nightfall. Shippo had been injured in the last battle with a youkai and Inuyasha had hurried ahead to have the old miko tend to his injuries. [Poor Shippo-chan, he was so brave jumping on that youkai when it attacked me]  
  
Hoping he was ok, Kagome's attention was brought back to the present when a light humming reached her ears. "Miroku-sama?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
Recognizing the tune, Kagome blushed and kept her gaze up ahead, "Where did you hear that song?"  
  
With an innocent glance in her direction, Miroku calmly replied, "At Kaede's house when you loaned me that small contraption of yours with the shiny music talismans."  
  
"My cd player?" Kagome giggled at his explanation for cd's, "But I don't listen to that music."  
  
Miroku frowned, "The covered side said 'Souta' on it, did he create that talisman?"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes, "Figures Souta would listen to that and leave it in MY cd player."  
  
"It was in your case," Miroku corrected.  
  
"That song is so obscene," Kagome shook her head, "Figures you'd like it."  
  
"I was merely interested in the the colorful ways the act of procreating was called in your time," Miroku tried to defend himself.  
  
Kagome scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest, "And the fact that a woman keeps moaning and groaning every so often had nothing to do with it?"  
  
He feigned shock, turning wide eyes in her direction, "Are you implying that I was merely listening to it for those obscene noises? I am hurt Kagome-sama, that you would believe such a thing. I am a follower of Buddha, a man of..."  
  
"Low morals," Kagome cut him off, "And wandering hands."  
  
"Maa maa, I would never dream of taking advantage of you Kagome-sama, it is because of the curse that my hand takes on a mind of its own and gropes lovely young women. Its usually already mid-grope by the time I realize what it's done." Miroku sighed and shook his head at his beaded hand.  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes, "You just groped me with your left hand."  
  
Miroku sweat-dropped, realizing she was right, "Can I help it if that one follows the other's example?"  
  
"Oh just drop it!" Kagome stopped and faced him, "You like sex, you like groping women's butts and leering at their bodies. Is that so hard to admit?"  
  
"No I don't believe it would be hard to admit if it were true," Miroku began to give another silly explanation but she cut him off.  
  
"Nevermind, you'll never change," shaking her head, Kagome started walking again, gazing up at the setting sun with a worried expression.  
  
_:: The sun can't go down yet! We'll have to set up camp if it does and heaven knows what he'll try if we were left alone for a whole night ::_  
  
"Is it my fault that I am tortured by this cursed hand?" Miroku interrupted her thoughts, "I was not always as lecherous as you might believe, I was once quite oblivious to the world of male and female relations but for this curse I began to wander, and as a traveling monk I had to learn certain things to survive."  
  
"Hah, I don't believe that, you have one of the dirtiest minds I've ever met," Kagome flipped her hair over her shoulder and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "I bet you couldn't go a whole night without bringing up anything lecherous."  
  
It was Miroku's turn to scoff, and he did, stating confidently, "I could if I wished to."  
  
"Oh really?" Kagome's eyes lit up in sudden mischief, the poor monk remained oblivious to the plans forming in her devious mind, unable to see the telling gleam in her eye since he was standing about a foot behind her.  
  
_:: Now this could prove interesting, if I can get him to agree to behave... ::_  
  
Schooling her features into a haughty expression, she turned with her hands on her hips, "Well I don't believe you could, in fact, I would even bet on it."  
  
"A bet?" Miroku raised an eyebrow, eyes shinning with obvious interest, "How would that work?"  
  
Kagome shrugged, "If you can keep from doing or saying anything lecherous for the remainder of the night, I promise to... mmm..."  
  
"How about a kiss to the winner?" Miroku offered.  
  
"No!" Kagome frowned, "Either way you'd win!"  
  
Miroku nodded solemnly, "Indeed, how silly of me to oversee that."  
  
Watching her struggle for a moment to think of a prize, he spoke again, "All right, how about the loser must kiss someone else?"  
  
"Who?" Kagome frowned, finding that not too bad as long as the person wasn't completely vile.  
  
"If I lose I must kiss someone of your choosing when we reach the village, if you lose the same rule applies," waiting for her to think it over, he was glad to see her nod in acceptance.  
  
"You've got a deal houshi-sama," sticking out her hand, Kagome took his and shook it, smiling at the confusion in his expression. "Its a way of closing off a deal in my time."  
  
"Ahh... then we have an agreement," inwardly smirking at the delightful excitement in her eyes, Miroku kept his face impassive even while he plotted.  
  
[Ah, but we never agreed we couldn't demand the loser give the winner a kiss, silly Kagome, I'm sure to win with such a tempting reward on the line.]  
  
_:: He's so smug, he really thinks he'll be able to beat me? I might look sweet and innocent, but growing up in a different century has prepared me far better than he could imagine ::  
_  
Struggling to keep an evil grin from her face, Kagome shifted the bag on her back and pointed over to a nearby mountain. "There's a cave over there that Inuyasha, Shippo and I used to sleep in once, it should be an adequate shelter for the night."  
  
"After you," leaning his staff a little in the direction she pointed, he gave a small bow and moved to follow her once she'd passed his side.  
  
_:: Now the fun really begins ::  
_  
Walking ahead of him, Kagome allowed herself the evil smile she'd been supressing.  
  
_:: Poor Miroku, you'll never know what hit you ::_  
  
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"We're almost there Miroku-sama, its just beyond those trees up ahead," leading the way, Kagome finally stopped at the entrance of the cave.  
  
It was getting chilly outside, now that the sun was nearly completely gone, their eyes had adjusted to the increasing darkness and a soft moonlight lit their path. Dropping her bag to the floor, she bit her lip and lifted uncertain eyes towards him standing beside her.  
  
_:: Well here goes nothing! ::_  
  
She made her voice extra young and insecure when she spoke again, "Do you think we could fuck like wild animals?"  
  
Miroku stumbled, staring at her wide-eyed, "NANI?!!!"  
  
Kagome blinked and stared back in confusion, "You don't think we should check for wild animals?"  
  
"Uh... oh hai," shaking his head at that random perverted thought, Miroku nodded and stepped forward, "That sounds like a good idea, you stay here while I do so."  
  
"Be careful," Kagome watched him go with a mental pat to her back.  
  
Minutes later he emerged from the cave and waved her over. Grabbing her backpack, Kagome skipped to his side and gave him a thankful smile, "It was so sweet of you to go in all alone, I should let you check my cave with your lonely staff."  
  
"Excuse me?" Miroku blinked, stunned by her words again.  
  
"I shouldn't have let you check the cave with only your staff," Kagome quirked her head sideways and gave him an assessing look for a moment. "You know, I think your earring's hot."  
  
[Ok, she did not just say my earring's hot] Miroku shook his head and tightened his hold on the staff. "Forgive me Kagome-sama, I think you might need to speeak up a bit."  
  
Kagome nodded, a bit of worry evident in her eyes, "I said, I think you're hearing's off!"  
  
"Hai, I do believe so as well," rubbing his left ear and then the right, he followed her inside and helped set up their things.  
  
While she made the beds, Miroku gathered some wood to build a fire and tried to shake any and all lecherous ideas from his head. [She can't be right, there's no way I can't control myself and keep my lechery in check for a few measely hours. I'm just working so hard to not think about dirty things that I've set my mind to focus on them and set myself up for disaster instead.]  
  
Entering the cave, he turned into the cavern around a corner and stopped at the entrance, keeping quiet as he saw that Kagome lay on her sleeping bag taking a nap. Using one arm as a pillow, her other hand rested on her stomach which growled loud enough for him to hear. [Poor thing, we haven't eaten since before the battle this morning. We've been so pre-occupied with getting to Kaede's that we didn't stop almost all day.]  
  
Moaning softly, Kagome rolled onto her stomach, her arms wrapping around herself tightly. Setting the wood down Miroku quickly started the fire, finally feeling his own hunger also. "Kagome-sama may I borrow your pan?"  
  
"It won't do any good," Kagome sighed and sat up, opening her bag and rummaging through it, "We don't have water for ramen, at least there's not enough in my bottles for two bowls."  
  
"That's all right, you need to eat," taking the portable pan and water bottles, he started warming it up, ignoring her protests.  
  
"That's not fair, you're hungry too," searching through the bottom of her pack, the water finished boiling and was poured into the bowl of noodles before she finally came up with a triumphant cry.  
  
"A snickers!" Smiling brightly she set the candy aside, wondering how Shippo could have missed it.  
  
_:: Not that I'm complaining of course ::  
_  
Scooting over beside him, Kagome's stomach growled again when he raised the warm bowl towards her, "Thanks."  
  
Grabbing her chopsticks from her bag's smaller pocket, she took a bite of the noodles and surprised him by lifting the next to his mouth. "You need to eat too, we can share."  
  
Miroku shook his head, "You eat it, you're hungrier."  
  
"Fat chance mister, open up," Kagome lifted it closer, the smell of the noodles reaching his nose and making his stomach grumble, "I can always share myself with you."  
  
[Hell, its not working]  
  
"Share your what?"  
  
"Share my stuff with you, my food and everything," Kagome touched his forehead for a second, checking for a fever. "Are you feeling all right?"  
  
Miroku gulped and opened his mouth to speak but was rewarded with a mouthful of soup. Chewing and answering with a nod, he couldn't help watching her and noticing certain things he'd hardly paid attention to before. It had been a game to flirt with Kagome ever since he joined their little group, a way to irk the hanyou and make her smile. He didn't see her as a potential wife or even lover, she was too sweet for that, too pure and guileless. He'd only briefly noticed the sensual pout of her lips, the long black eyelashes framing her chocolate orbs, or the natural grace in the simplest of her movements.  
  
Fingers efficiently scooped up more ramen on the chopsticks, raising them to those pouty lips, opened in a small, sexy 'o' to allow the slippery noodles into her mouth. With a gulp he realized a small stream of the soup's water was dribbling down her chin, but before he could act her tongue swept out and cleared it away, completely oblivious to its effects on the man beside her.  
  
"Miroku-sama? Are you okay? Here you go," She lifted the next bite towards him, smiling when he took it without arguing. "At least this way neither of us goes completely hungry."  
  
Nodding, Miroku agreed and said the idea had been very kind of her. She shrugged and said no more while they finished the soup. Once that was gone, she took the candy bar, split it in two and handed him half. "I love snickers."  
  
"They're very good," Miroku's eyes twinkled after he'd taken a bite.  
  
Kagome sighed, "Yeah, but I'd really like to cover your nuts with chocolate and lick them off."  
  
Inhaling sharply, a peanut went down his windpipe and sent Miroku into a coughing fit. [Damnit subconscious stop thinking about sex!] Feeling her slap him on the back, he managed to dislodge the unruly piece of food from his throat and thank her.  
  
"Daijobu? What's so wrong with liking the nuts covered in chocolate and licking them off? Some people would rather just chew the peanut and chocolate together but I like making the chocolate last longer that way." Kagome was frowning in confusion again.  
  
"Gomen nasai, I misunderstood you once more."  
  
"What is going through that head of yours Miroku-sama? Are you even listening to me?" Kagome sat back with a pout, "I've had to repeat myself almost everytime I've spoken since we got here."  
  
Suddenly her eyes widened and she looked around, "Do you think there's some weird spell on the cave? Maybe to keep wanderers out? What if it belongs to someone? What if they come back and get angry?"  
  
"Maa maa, calm down Kagome-sama, I am sure no spell has been placed on this cave, I would have felt it." He squeezed her shoulder soothingly, "No one is coming here any time soon."  
  
Looking up into his smiling face, she felt a tinge of guilt at her toying with him this way, but quickly shook it off. When a rustling sound came from outside, she surprised him by standing suddenly. "I'm going to see what's out there."  
  
"By yourself?" Miroku stood beside her.  
  
"Hai, its not like you can't see me from here." Giving a nonchalant wave of her hand, she stepped around the fire and out of the cave to look around.  
  
_:: Ok where did I see those... aha! ::_  
  
Hurrying over to a nearby bush, Kagome picked a couple of flowers and giggled, smiling brightly when she walked back to where he waited. "You wouldn't believe what I just saw!"  
  
"I take whatever it was had nothing to do with angry youkai or spell- placing cave dwellers?" Miroku plopped down onto his bedding beside the wall.  
  
Kagome shook her head and giggled, sitting cross-legged and facing him with the flowers on her lap, "Nope, there were just these cute little squirrels humping in the trees."  
  
"Squirrels?" Miroku gaped, having hoped his mind was under control now.  
  
She smiled and giggled again, "It was so adorable, they were jumping from tree to tree, almost like playing tag."  
  
[Of course, jumping, not humping, Kagome would have been shocked to see two squirrels getting busy in a tree] He mentally smacked himself and managed to smile. "That certainly must make for an interesting sight."  
  
"It was," Kagome picked up a flower, her skirt moving a bit so he could see the others on her lap. "You know my mother always scolded me when I was little for messing up the flowers she put on the table."  
  
She giggled and traced the center, her fingers spreading to open its petals furthur apart, "Its not that awful for me to like unfurling the petals and seeing more of the center. That's the good spot, where bees used their stingers to take the polen before they use it to make honey for us."  
  
Miroku swallowed thickly again, looking down at the flowers in her lap and envisioning a different sort of petals being opened to allow for a stinger to enter and a different type of honey to be created. A shudder of need ran through him at the very enticing image that made. The worst part was that she was completely clueless about what he was thinking, speaking innocently of flowers and bees and honey. [Kami this is torture, sheer torture, why can't I stop?]  
  
Her legs, that's what it was, she was sitting with her legs crossed and her skirt folded back a little to hold the flowers in a small pouch, exposing those creamy limbs up to mid-thigh.  
  
Having closed his eyes in an effort to regain control, he was surprised to feel her hand on his forehead suddenly, "Are you sure you're ok? You're flushed and feel kind of warm."  
  
"Hai, I'm fine," opening his eyes and lowering his head from where he'd rested it back against the wall, he was surprised to see her kneeling in front of him in her skirt and a white tank top. She wore those sleeveless shirts under her school uniform sometimes for what reason he had no idea. Unfortunately for Miroku though, with her bending slightly forward to check his temperature she allowed for the perfect view of her chest. He'd heard the slight movement of the fabric being removed but had thought she'd been pulling on a jacket, not removing her shirt.  
  
"How about getting our rocks off?" Kagome smiled down at him and tapped his slightly parted mouth closed, "Between the both of us it could be a quickie."  
  
"A quickie?" Miroku all but drooled, looking up with glazed eyes.  
  
Kagome pointed down beside him while continuing, "When you came in to make the fire you stepped all over your blanket, if we work together we can get the rocks off quickly so you can go to sleep already. You really don't look so good, maybe you need to beat the meat?"  
  
"B-beat the...?"  
  
"Heat, take your top robe off if you're overly warm, you're getting more flushed. Does your head hurt? Maybe it would help if I jack you off?" Kagome reached out and tugged at the tie of his purple kesa, the first layer of his clothing, and gasped when he grabbed her by the wrist and brought her closer to look her in the eye.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
Kagome gulped, knowing her wordplay had gone too far by the smoldering heat in his violet orbs, "I-I was saying maybe it would help if I just back off?"  
  
"Yet you were about to remove my kesa?" Miroku's eyes slitted, "Wouldn't that go against what you said?"  
  
"I would've backed off if you'd told me to but you weren't moving and you look overly warm," Kagome bit her lip, "I was just worried about you, if you're sick how are we going to get to Kaede's house by tomorrow?"  
  
Seeing how he wasn't buying it, she winced and looked up at him imploringly, "Could you let go of my hand please?"  
  
That seemed to snap him out of whatever had come over him, releasing her with a surprised look in his eyes, which quickly became apologetic. "I'm so sorry Kagome-sama, I was just..."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Kagome rubbed her wrist and moved over to her own bedding, "I'm settling in for the night, you should do the same if you're not feeling well. Is your hearing still off?"  
  
"Hai, I hope whatever it is will be gone by morning." Looking down and seeing the rocks she spoke of, he glanced over to where she sat up under her blanket looking through her backpack for something.  
  
She pulled out her cd player and searched through her bag with a small frown. Curious as to what she was going to listen to but not wanting to risk another strange reaction, he shrugged and began brushing away the rocks on his bed, listening to her soft mumbling to check his hearing.  
  
[It can't just be my imagination, I have a tendency to think of lewd things, yes, but not all the time and I've never had problems when someone talks before.] Something was wrong, Kagome didn't seem to be acting, she had genuinely been concerned, but there was still something that didn't click with him.  
  
"I could have sworn I'd brought it..." Kagome sighed and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.  
  
Taking up an opportunity to test her while she was obviously pre-occupied with something else, Miroku spoke up, "What's the matter Kagome-sama? Forget something?"  
  
"I thought I brought my dildo," Kagome looked up from her backpack with an annoyed huff.  
  
"Your what?!"  
  
Miroku winced, realizing his voice had come out with an undignified squeek.  
  
[I definitely didn't imagine that!]  
  
"My Dido!" Kagome pulled out her cd case and showed him the empty slot, "I just bought her new cd and I can't find it!"  
  
[Damnit] Getting annoyed with his situation, Miroku forced himself to keep his confusion and temper in check, speaking calmly and to his relief, in a normal -manly- tone. "I believe that Shippo put one of the talismans in the outer left pocket of your backpack yesterday after you let him borrow your player."  
  
"Oh," opening the pocket, Kagome looked down at the cd and frowned while checking it for scratches, "Its Christina Aguilera, maybe I left Dido at home."  
  
Taking out the cd Shippo had been listening to, she put it back where the other should have been and set her backpack next to her. Snuggling down into bed, she sighed and gave a sleepy yawn, "Oyasumi nasai Miroku-sama."  
  
"Oyasumi Kagome-sama," Miroku watched her for a few minutes before lying down and waiting for sleep.  
  
To his dismay sleep was not coming easily tonight, so he sat up and moved into the lotus position for some meditation. Eventually he began to feel fatigue drag him from his focus so he lay down and was about to fall asleep when Kagome began crying out.  
  
"Don't... don't kill him... Inuyasha... please... no, you can't kill him... me? ... I'm too young to die... no don't..."  
  
Her voice, broken by sobs and her harsh breathing, was absolutely terrified and submisssive, a tone he'd never heard her use before. It was a tone that sent a chill down his spine and a sharp tug to his heart. Suddenly she was thrashing about in her bedding, struggling against some unseen enemy in a panick but before he could move fast enough to wake her, she did so on her own, sitting up with a small cry escaping her lips.  
  
"Kagome-sama!"  
  
His voice made her jump and she twisted away from him for a few seconds before facing forward once again.  
  
"G-gomen," Glancing over with terrified eyes, she looked away, wrapping those shaking hands around her arms, hardly realizing her whole body was trembling. "Gomen nasai I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
"I doubt you could mean to do anything in your sleep." Moving over to sit beside her, Miroku laid a hand on her arm gently and was relieved when her body stopped its trembling. "Did you have a nightmare?"  
  
Kagome nodded yes and sighed, "I wish Shippo were here, holding him always makes me feel better."  
  
"That's understandable Kagome-sama, you are very close to the young kit." Miroku pushed her sweaty bangs from her forehead and smiled, "Would you believe me if I say that I mean nothing bad as I offer my services as a replacement for the young kitsune for the night?"  
  
Kagome looked up to him in surprise, "Really?"  
  
Miroku nodded, "Really, if all you need is a hug, I can offer you that much as a friend Kagome-sama."  
  
Hesitating for a moment, she looked up and asked, "Would you mind holding me until I fall back asleep? I don't want to have another nightmare."  
  
"Sure thing," carefully wrapping his arms around her, he turned to lean against the nearby cave wall and pulled her onto his lap.  
  
Kagome relaxed against him almost immediatly, soothed by the warmth of his body and the even beating of his heart beneath her ear. Lying on her right side, legs tucked beneath her between his, she realized she was in the perfect place for a good grope but ignored it, needing the physical contact after dreaming of dying once again.  
  
She'd hardly told any of her companions, but more and more often she lost sleep because of a bad dream. In her visions she kept seeing her death at the hands of a handsome stranger. She shuddered once again and smiled when his hand rubbed soothingly down her back. When her stomach grumbled unexpectedly they remained quiet for a few minutes before she let out a soft giggle, followed by his chuckle and all-out laughing.  
  
Wiping tears from her eyes, Kagome finally managed to control her laughter and sighed, leaning back against him comfortably. She'd moved so that her back rested against his chest, his arms were draped around her waist and his hands were on her stomach. Kneeding her tummy softly through her shirt, Miroku felt when another grumble went through it and chuckled again.  
  
"That feels nice," Kagome smiled, closing her eyes and ignoring her hunger. Half a bowl of ramen and half a snickers were not nearly enough to keep their hunger abated with all the exercise they did. "Where did you learn how to rub bellies like that?"  
  
"Kami-sama, you have no idea," Miroku groaned, thinking of the more common use of the term 'belly rubbing' and stopping his minstrations.  
  
"No idea of what?" Turning in his arms, Kagome saw the pained look in his eyes and frowned, kneeling in front of him again. "Miroku-sama how are you feeling? You've been flushed almost all night, do you want to take some medicine?"  
  
"Kagome-sama there is hardly a medicine in your bag that could help me right now," Miroku slipped his hands from around her and left them on his bent knees.  
  
"There must be something I can do to help," she insisted.  
  
"Do you really want to help? Really?" Miroku opened smoky eyes and looked down at her hungrily.  
  
The look he was giving her sent goosebumps along her arms, but Kagome nodded, forgetting about the bet in wake of this warmth spreading through her. Without warning, his hands slipped around her and dragged her forward to where his lips could crash down on hers. His kiss was hungry and desperate, her body was crushed to his and his tongue flicked out across her lips, taking advantage of her gasp to delve into her mouth.  
  
Kagome shivered at the touch of his tongue on hers, a soft moan escaping her lips, swallowed into his. His hands moved, one to cup her head and the other to cup her bottom, an action she suddenly wasn't so annoyed by.  
  
Finally breaking off the kiss moments later, Miroku slipped his hands around her upper back and sighed, resting his head back against the wall behind him. Kagome lay her head on his chest and closed her eyes with a smile. She'd just had her first kiss, and kami if it wasn't nice, even if it wasn't the guy she'd wanted it from. Feeling a sudden wave of guilt, Kagome felt him sigh and realized that he understood. Miroku was not quite as oblivious as the hanyou, he knew her feelings for their companion were more than friendly, he was probably regretting the kiss as well. Sitting there surrounded in his warmth for a few minutes, she eventually fell into a deep sleep and hardly noticed when he moved to lay them both down on her blanket.  
  
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"What the hell is the meaning of this?! Fucking houshi you'd better not have done anything to her or I swear you'll... mph!"  
  
Inuyasha slammed to the ground and spewed his angry curses into the dirt. Kagome had actually sat him - In her sleep!  
  
Mumbling too softly for even him to make out anything coherent, she snuggled into the body wrapped around hers and sighed, melting into Miroku's hold again. For his part the houshi was stuck between tossing her away and running for safety, or pulling her closer and taking another nap. When Inuyasha sat up and made a grab for his neck, he pulled Kagome close and rolled onto his back, bringing her body over his and using her as a shield.  
  
"Oi monk! Stop fucking hiding behind her and get your hands off!" Inuyasha growled low in his throat and it was deep, and menacing, and made Miroku gulp.  
  
"Do you mind? We were sleeping!" Kagome yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes, seeming oblivious to the fact that she lay sprawled over Miroku's chest. Sitting up, she straddled him and stretched languidly, arms and head thrown back, her body arching forward in a way that made both males in the cave nearly drool. Suddenly she gave out a small yelp and jumped off Miroku with a blush staining her cheeks.  
  
"Took you long enough!" Inuyasha growled again, tossing her uniform top over to her.  
  
"I was half-asleep!" Kagome pulled the shirt on and stood. Wiping down her wrinkled skirt, she gathered her things without a word to either of them.  
  
Miroku cleaned up his stuff and handed it to her, keeping his distance due to Inuyasha's growling every time he got near. They followed him out of the cave and Kagome sighed, blinking against the bright sunlight. "How did you find us Inuyasha?"  
  
"You smell, remember?" The hanyou huffed and pointed her in the direction of Kaede's village. "Go ahead."  
  
"Why?" Looking into his stony face, she glanced over his shoulder and saw Miroku's hand tighten on his staff. "You aren't going to hurt him are you? It wasn't his fault! I had a nightmare and he was just offering me comfort and we must have fallen asleep."  
  
"Feh, why would I hurt him bitch? Its not like I care if you go around sleeping with men you hardly know." Hardly thinking over how his words sounded, Inuyasha suddenly realized how that could be understood when her gasp reached his ears and her hand slapped his cheek.  
  
Touching the aching flesh and facing her, he shook his head when tears welled in her eyes, one mangaging to slip down her cheek before she turned and ran, leaving her bag at his feet. Miroku was beside himself in shock at first, but the sound of her first sob reached out to him and sent him into anger such as he hadn't known for a long time.  
  
Attacking from behind, Miroku managed to knock him down and slam his head into the grass before Inuyasha flipped over and pinned him to the ground. "What the hell happened last night houshi?"  
  
"You really doubt Kagome-sama's words? You doubt the one person who's ever trusted you?!" Miroku glared up at the hanyou gripping his neck, fury overthrowing his fear.  
  
"I doubt the company she kept and its scruples!" Inuyasha tightened his hold on the monk's neck, "Now tell me what the hell did I walk in on?"  
  
"You walked in on one friend comforting another after a bad dream," Miroku glared up into his eyes. "She was terrified, and I mean literally shaking in fear. I was about to fall asleep when she started crying out, and she was begging Inuyasha."  
  
Those words got to the hanyou and he released Miroku's neck, frowning as the houshi rubbed the aching skin but continued, "Whoever it was, they had her terrified enough to beg - and not even just for herself, she begged for you also."  
  
"She begged for me?" Inuyasha sat back on his haunches and stared down at the ground.  
  
"Hai, she begged for your life before asking for her own." Feeling a surge of jealousy fill him at the thought, Miroku stood and picked up his discarded staff. "I will not apologize for my actions, but you should apologize for your harsh words, she hardly deserves such cruelty from you."  
  
Nodding, Inuyasha stood and glanced over to where she'd left her bag.  
  
"I'll get it." Miroku went over and picked the large bag up, sending him ahead to apologize to the girl. Inuyasha went and Miroku was halfway to Kaede's village before they joined him once again.  
  
Riding on Inuyasha's back, Kagome greeted him happily and hopped off, ignoring his growl and taking her backpack. "Thank you Miroku-sama, I really appreciate you bringing this for me."  
  
"Any time Kagome-sama, I trust things have been cleared up?"  
  
"Hai, I guess as cleared up as they get between us," Kagome shrugged and glared at Inuyasha's back.  
  
After finally reaching the village, Inuyasha left them to travel through the forest and Kagome's eyes widened, smiling brightly. "You lost!"  
  
Miroku, having hoped she'd forgotten in the morning's drama, held back a groan and nodded. "Hai, I lost."  
  
"I knew it! I knew you'd lose!" Kagome cheered and grabbed his arm, "I just knew you'd snap if I said enough things!"  
  
"Nani?" Miroku gaped, stopping mid-step to stare at the bouncy girl. "If you said enough things?"  
  
"Oh poor Miroku-sama! You really believed your hearing was off?" Kagome's laugh turned wicked. "Oh no, I completely set you up for failure the moment we made the bet."  
  
"So- so you really did say all those things?!" Miroku was dumbfounded, wondering how in the world a sweet girl like her could hide such a deliciously naughty side of her personality.  
  
"Things like humping squirrels, jacking you off and fucking like wild animals?" Kagome saw his eyes widen in shock and shrugged, "The advantages of growing up in the twenty-first century, people in my time are much more open about topics like sex. We even get sex education in school so that we know what we're risking when we get down to it."  
  
"That's not fair," Miroku crossed his arms indignantly, "You were playing with me the whole night!"  
  
"Hai"  
  
With a small frown, he looked into her sparkling eyes and held them to see her reply to his next question. "And the nightmare, was that part of your plan?"  
  
Her smile dimmed at that, a shadow of fear and doubt crossing her eyes and assuring him it was not. "Iie, I've been plagued by nightmares for weeks now."  
  
"You should have told us," he reprimanded lightly, taking hold of her arm and gently tugging her in the direction of Kaede's hut.  
  
"I didn't want to add to your worries," taking a deep breath, Kagome remembered their previous topic of conversation and smiled. "But after the nightmare I didn't do anything to provoke you, YOU kissed me out of the blue and therefore lost the bet."  
  
"I'll agree to that, but I must blame you for offering to help lower my 'fever', which you caused," Miroku released her arm and looked around at the people of the village. "So who will it be?"  
  
"Hmm?" Kagome glanced around and looked at their options.  
  
"Who will I be kissing this fine day?"  
  
With an evil gleam in her eyes, Kagome stood on tip-toe and whispered a name into his ear.  
  
**"WHO?!"**  
  
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: One hour later :  
  
It was a warm day in the village, children were playing, mothers were cleaning, and the men were out working in their shops or in the fields. The sun shone brightly in the sky above and birds and animals went about their business, content with finding their food and building their homes.  
  
In a small hut not too far from the others, a young kitsune lay napping on a cot, healing from wounds earned bravely in battle. An old woman with a patch over one eye sat grinding herbs for poultices needed by a sick villager and listening to the singing of a young girl outside her home.  
  
Sitting with her back against the old woman's hut, the young girl, no older than fifteen, sat making a crown of flowers while enjoying the cool shade and warm breeze that floated by. Beside her, a grumpy hanyou was getting some rest after spending half the night worrying over her safety. (After all, she had spent the night with a lecherous monk - he had good reason to worry.)  
  
Many moments went by before the jingling of a familiar staff approached. Looking imploringly at the girl in front of him, the monk watched her shake her head and gulped. Struggling to maintain his cool demeanor, he inwardly trembled as he moved closer and kneeled before her, meeting her eyes and silently asking once again if she was sure this was what she wanted. Giving a small nod, the girl bit her cheek to stifle the laughter building in her chest.  
  
The voice of her companion made the monk and girl jump in surprise, although his eyes remained shut when he spoke, "What the hell's your problem houshi? You reek of fear."  
  
Gulping, the monk glanced for the final time at the girl before whispering, "Kami-sama be kind and save me."  
  
Before he had time to fully open his eyes, Inuyasha felt a large pair of hands cup his cheeks and drag him forward. A pair of lips touched his forehead and placed a smacking kiss there briefly.  
  
Feeling himself released abruptly and pushed back, Inuyasha froze in shock even after his head hit the wall, staring wide-eyed in horror at the equally horrified Miroku in front of him.  
  
An enraged howl resounded through the village suddenly, making even the toughest of men shiver in fear before an equally enraged shout followed it.  
  
**"WHAT THE FUCK?!!"**  
  
In a matter of seconds, a pale and terrified houshi dashed through the village streets, running from the hut as if the very hounds from hell were after him.  
  
**"GET BACK HERE MIROKU! YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MONK! I SWEAR THAT NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I AM SO GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"**  
  
A peal of laughter by his side made the hanyou look down and glare at the girl beside him.  
  
Wiping tears from her eyes, Kagome managed to stand and hold back her laughter. "Poor Inuyasha, I should have known he couldn't do it right."  
  
"Nani?!" Gaping at the girl beside him, Inuyasha turned to face her and glowered. "Did you have something to do with that?"  
  
"Hai," Kagome nodded with a bright smile, "But when I dared him to kiss you, I meant for it to be like this..."  
  
Sliding her arms around his shoulders, one hand pulled his head down as she stepped on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his, taking advantage as Miroku had, of his surprised gasp to slip her tongue in his mouth and tangle it around his. Remainging frozen in shock for a second, Inuyasha felt her pulling away and wrapped his arms around her waist, crushing her to him and tilting her head sideways for a deeper kiss.  
  
_:: Note to self - Thank Miroku for the kissing lesson later - two gropes, free of charge... ooh what was that?! You had better not have learned that with Kikyo buddy... hmm... ok, this was worth it... ::_  
  
_:: Make that three gropes for the houshi ::_  
  
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- - -  
  
So what'd you think? Like? No like?  
  
Me like   
  
Let me know if you do k-?


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